Carla. Www.carlascoachingforhealth.com
My 11 yr old daughter is currently writing a short story about travelling through time. Currently her time machine has run out of petrol and there is uncertainty about her return to 2013. Swift reference to google on 'how to make petrol' revealed that her access to oil would need fractional distillation and altered hydrocarbons - not really the answer she was hoping for! Consequently she is stuck in the 1800's but I have every confidence that through her vivid imagination she can find a way to come on home. How blissfully unaware she is, and as a parent I encourage her to enjoy her journey of innocence while it lasts. If I could turn back time I would certainly make a few changes here and there. I wouldn't go as far as saying that I have huge regrets but I've certainly made a heap of poor decisions. If I could have just followed my instincts more! Hindsight is always annoying, but irrespective, here I am for whatever the reason. Looking back, I lacked self confidence in many decisions, but of course at the time it's all I had, and I did my best. This has all helped me come to the conclusion that the path to personal wellbeing and freedom must start in ourselves, despite at times our immediate environment, and the bigger community/social context in which we live. This doesnt mean we need to be apathetic, but rather knowing and understanding ourselves brings with it more understanding of the wider implications. We do not work independently of our environment, we work with it and it works with us. Same can be said for the people in our lives and the relationships we choose. If we hang out with idiots, we increase the odds of becoming one, doubling the idiot population! Surely the goal is to learn from our previous choices? To admit and 'own' our mistakes and try and do better next time? Learning ideally should bring up questions and curiosity, which can only lead to more self knowing. This ultimately leads to changing our own behaviours, which changes our environment, which changes our relationships, which changes our behaviours and round and round it goes. This is my interpretation of holistic health, which to me is much more than some sort of physical or mental therapy. What is therapy anyway? Doesnt that suggest that something is 'wrong' with us? And if something is 'wrong' with us then who or what is that compared to???? Learning needs to be more than just 'healing' or 'therapy' when it comes to the body or mind, it's about the attempt to apply it, and integrate it into our daily lives. Sustainability versus short term fixes is always more conducive to better health. As a lifestyle management coach, my role is to help people find ways to learn more about themselves. I'm not someone who offers solutions, that is up to the individual to seek, but with more self awareness comes more confidence and clarity around decisions. Some people come to me as a last resort yet others come to me to strengthen foundations as a form of self efficacy. I do not go into any past trauma or life events, that is for those who are qualified and have the desire to do so. I will never be convinced that constant reference and rememberence to traumatic pasts help people move forward, unless of course it is to identify what can be learnt to reduce possible future occurances. Care must be taken, as basic neuro science proves that what we focus on will grow in it's intensity. The framework I use is about building blocks for the future based on where the person is currently at, what reserves are available to draw on, and personal identification of hopes dreams and goals. Positive and productive thoughts are amplified through a process to 'turn them up' and the destructive thoughts become quieter as a result of this process. It's really back to basics, it's mindlessly simple, and more importantly it can bring 'fun' back to life. I used to believe in 'what goes around comes around', I'm no longer convinced of something so random. I no longer believe in 'karma'.... I believe that as adults we are participants in our own choices and attitudes, and understanding ourselves better and being prepared to learn is essential to making our next life changing choice.
Carla. Www.carlascoachingforhealth.com
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