I see being nearly 50 as no more than a number that measures how many years I've been alive. My attitude to my chronological age is simply a choice of loss of youth versus a gain in confidence, and I know which one I would prefer having had little confidence when I was younger. Granted I have the privilege of good physical health, no doubt influenced largely by my genetic disposition, my lifestyle choices, and sheer luck that no unforeseen accident or illness has befallen me. Im also grateful that Im managing stress levels a lot better these days due to the increased confidence. My drama queen days are over thank goodness! Somewhere along the way I learnt to manage my own emotions rather than to project my needs on to others where I would expect them to indulge me with their un divided attention. I would place unrealistic expectations upon them with hidden agendas of fixing and rescuing me, yet it wasn't there issue to fix, it was mine. If you were one of my victims??? I apologise. I've learnt that my emotions aren't real sometimes in spite of how big they feel - but they are a clue that something in me is incongruent. . One of the best pieces of advice a friend once said to me was “for goodness sake Carla grow up and take charge of your life”... That comment slapped me in the face so hard that I had to take some notice, and as hurtful as it was to hear that home truth, it sparked me into making changes which enabled a more settled and peaceful attitude to develop.
Getting older can also bring clarity around making decisions. Whilst a sense of self assuredness can not predict the future it certainly can help identify what needs to be weeded out if only for self preservation. Im not saying that comes easily and often it's very painful to walk away from something which we find ourselves attached to, as not all of our attachments are good for us. Having a good look at why there is an attachment to something which we recognise as unhealthy is worthy of our time and investment. Support may be needed for this as often our strong emotions disable our ability to see things from an objective perspective. Growing up need not be about being too serious either. I shall never apologise for having fun – ever. Growing old disgracefully certainly works for me especially when I hit The Riverside Bar on the odd occasion. (OK maybe a few occasions!).. Growing up also reveals that complete reliance on external things or people for happiness is so precarious, as at any point they can be gone in a flick of the fingers. I've seen too many people waiting for something or someone to change before they think they can claim their own happiness. Don't wait for change or expect others to change.... BE the change! and if it fits with those around? then there will be a dance of change together, If it doesn't ? then maybe it's time to move on. Often it's hard to know when to stay flexible, when to commit and persevere, when to change ourselves, or when to let go and walk away. There's only one way to learn and that's by taking the plunge... a bit of trial and error. If you've never made any mistakes in life? Then you're not living. The perfect decision doesn't exist and any new decision will come with dis-comfort for a time as we jump into unknown territories. Jump we must at times so we can keep moving forward and becoming the person we think we want to be.
Www.carlascoachingforhealth.com
Getting older can also bring clarity around making decisions. Whilst a sense of self assuredness can not predict the future it certainly can help identify what needs to be weeded out if only for self preservation. Im not saying that comes easily and often it's very painful to walk away from something which we find ourselves attached to, as not all of our attachments are good for us. Having a good look at why there is an attachment to something which we recognise as unhealthy is worthy of our time and investment. Support may be needed for this as often our strong emotions disable our ability to see things from an objective perspective. Growing up need not be about being too serious either. I shall never apologise for having fun – ever. Growing old disgracefully certainly works for me especially when I hit The Riverside Bar on the odd occasion. (OK maybe a few occasions!).. Growing up also reveals that complete reliance on external things or people for happiness is so precarious, as at any point they can be gone in a flick of the fingers. I've seen too many people waiting for something or someone to change before they think they can claim their own happiness. Don't wait for change or expect others to change.... BE the change! and if it fits with those around? then there will be a dance of change together, If it doesn't ? then maybe it's time to move on. Often it's hard to know when to stay flexible, when to commit and persevere, when to change ourselves, or when to let go and walk away. There's only one way to learn and that's by taking the plunge... a bit of trial and error. If you've never made any mistakes in life? Then you're not living. The perfect decision doesn't exist and any new decision will come with dis-comfort for a time as we jump into unknown territories. Jump we must at times so we can keep moving forward and becoming the person we think we want to be.
Www.carlascoachingforhealth.com
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