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AT SOME POINT WE NEED TO LOOK AT WHAT IT IS THAT MATTERS TO US.... NOT WHAT IS THE MATTER.
![]() Bring on my 50's. Whoop whoop!.. Ok so its another leap as far as my body is concerned. More teeth will be lost according to my hygienist, skin and hair will get thinner, wrinkles will deepen, and there's no stopping gravity. BUT, on the other hand I will gain something so good for my wellbeing that what happens to my body may well pale in significance. It is not something that logic can explain, it can not be taught, nor bought but definitely needs to be sought. A quick overview of my life to this point, and I guess I've always been on this rocky road to finding what it was I needed the most. When I was a teenager I liked to explore. I needed to experience things for myself. I also mindlessly followed the crowd, and preferably the crowd that was living the most recklessly. I often wonder how I survived my adolescent years with just one court appearance!..Fast forward into my twenties and insecurities started to rush to the surface, making their presence particularly known with each new relationship. However, I did start to realise that perhaps I had a bigger part to play in these things called relationships and I should start to reflect on my self rather than looking for flaws in others. This lead me to a book that excited me so much I stole it from the Marlybone Library the day before I was flying home. I instinctively knew this book was going to change my life in huge ways, and it did. Initially whilst it had an immediate impact, what I didn't realise was that 20 years on not only am I still influenced by this subject but it has become my strength and foundation of all that matters to me. On to my thirties and add to the mix a good long dose of post natal depression, which took me down the path of the esoteric. I explored crystals and colour therapy, reiki, spirituality and organised religion. None of it conflicting for me, but all complimentary. Each exploration created a new insight, I was awakening a little bit at a time through each experience. My forties was spent 'waking up' with a much larger crash!. A lot more clarity was surfacing, thoughts were coming together, patterns were being realised. How could I have missed the obvious! Hindsight's a pain in the butt sometimes. Roads were converging fast. I needed to face things more head on, and I knew that only I could do it. No more pussy footing around, no more head in the sand, no more waiting for something to change, or someone else to change it for me. Living with regrets is not an option, it numbs the spirit. For me it's not surprising then that my love affair with science was rekindled a few years ago. The advancement in technology over the last 20 years around the power of our thought patterns and how they can affect us had come a long way and new doors opened and proof evidenced. This is where it all blended for me, the religion, the spirituality and the science...All roads for me meet at, 'what we think - matters', and the realisation that thoughts can be a choice no matter how entrenched and powerful they are. One thought leads to the next which leads to the next which will determine what action we take. Whilst that sounds ridiculously simplistic, I dare anyone to challenge themselves next time a negative thought pops in to say Hi, and then see how simple it is!, Some people arn't interested in their thoughts. I don't understand why, unless of course their life is where they wish it to be. Whilst I understand that I will never be able to control what life throws at me, I know that I always have a choice on how I think, and how I respond, who I want in my life and what I choose to believe in. Im about to leave my forties next year, and I can't wait to see what sort of magic carpet ride Im going to go on in the years that follow. Each decade has bought with it new situations, new people, and new crisis that whilst at the time may be difficult, always brings with it new understandings and its through this process that I resist less and freedom expands. Freedom of thought transcends anything external, and the irony is that being able to change the way we look at things is when the things we are looking at change. Www.carlascoachingforhealth.com
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With Disability May Day approaching it always makes me a bit introspective about the social issues that go hand in hand with what is often perceived as minority groups. I'm not comfortable with the word minority, neither am I comfortable with the word disability. I often wonder why there has to be any word at all to describe people, can't we just be human beings?...unless of course people are happy to put themselves into categories and boxes because it enhances their own lives somehow. However categorising ourselves will have the equivalent affect of categorisation from others, and we need to be OK with that if labelling ourselves is what we think we need. We cant call ourselves........if we don't want others to also call us.............An audit of our beliefs may be necessary at times to make sure that we feel comfortable with our own labels that we have created for ourselves and what that means to us. Every time we give ourselves a bit of a belief audit we become more solid in ourselves and with this we become stronger and less affected by those who want to tear us down with their words and actions. We become less of a landing pad of others projections and assumptions. There has been many an injustice based on discrimination and if we want to put this right we can not repeat the mistakes by becoming or staying ignorant and unenlightened. I'd like to think that as each generation passes we are a little more evolved and wiser than the last. Isn't that what evolution is all about? The only way we can surpass what injustices have been done in the past is to acknowledge them, see and learn what went wrong, and don't repeat the same mistakes. To go backwards to satisfy our own ego's in thinking that we are always right will only keep the same record playing over and over again. It can start with the simple things like having conversations with each other. Don't judge those until at the very least you have sat down and had a really good korero with them. Good open, honest, real conversations that are devoid of as much 'jargon' and superficialness as possible. It is from opportunities like these that levels of altered understanding may be possible and human compassion found which can transcend all perceived difference.
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