I've always struggled with that fine line between going with flow and accepting things as they are, yet realising that something needs to change. I've come to finally accept that not everything makes perfect logical sense sometimes, and our ability to respond, or our 'respons-ability' can differ depending on the context. One thing is for sure and that is contradictions exist, nothing is ever black and white despite how much we want it to be. The only thing I can be assured of is that with every choice I make, rightly or wrongly, creates a shadow of consequence which goes on to form the tapestry of my life. So long as I can keep my mind open and curious enough to keep learning from what didn't work before, then for me that's all I ask of myself. I can only be responsible for me (and my children while they are in my care), however everybody I have and will ever meet will help me come to know myself a little more each time and I hope vice versa. I always find it hard to learn what to hang on to and what to move away from, it's never clear cut and is always a risk. Im convinced that investing in others or external factors to determine my happiness inevitably brings with it disappointment. I can be self determining, carving and creating the life I want with what I've got, rather than letting others determine how my life will be!. It's so easy to become fossilized in thinking, not daring to think outside the 'norm' or the square, yet beyond the boundaries placed on and by ourselves lies possibilities. Not being prepared to change my thinking brings with it tension that is only there because I make it that way, yet it's often the only option I know and to let go of it is scary.. What will exist in the space if I just let go? As the cliché goes, we often need to lose ourselves to find ourselves. Sometimes nothing makes any sense and sometimes non – sense can be the most powerful position to grow from by the emergence of something new. Whether we like it or not there is one thing that's guaranteed in our lives and that is change, and the only truth that we can ever have is the one we create with what we are prepared to allow.




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I saw recently on facebook a post that said “if you can't explain easily to a 6 year old what it is you're trying to get across, then you don't really fully understand it yourself”. I love those little one liners that just stop me in my tracks and make me do some self reflection. Being the critic in our own lives helps lift our own awareness around what we can do better, which isn't to be confused with being critical. The critic learns and moves forward by their own mistakes, those who are critical simply get stuck and they either blame others for their downfalls, or they over blame themselves. The critic in me came to the conclusion that Im well aware that Im no expert when it comes to writing, but what I do think Im reasonably OK at is writing about thought provoking and profound topics in a way that I hope is easy to understand. All the theory, stats, big words and fancy use of language wont mean 'zip' unless people can relate to what they are reading. So here goes for this week's column which is about 'holistic' health. Is it just a buzz word that people throw around for marketing purposes? Or does it really mean something? And why is it so important to look at health from a wider perspective and not just the physical? I'm by no means a trained expert when it comes to the science of the human brain, but I have sought and continue to seek learning about it at every opportunity. If I had discovered this passion 20 years ago then life would be very different. However it wasn't to be and between my own 'lived experiences' and others who are academically trained Im hoping there is something of value to be passed on. I found neuroscientist Dr Kerry Spackman author of The Winners Bible describes holistic health by simplifying our drivers for health into 4 pillars, each symbolising an aspect of ourselves but also forming part of the whole. For more depth of understanding you need to read his book but I will endeavour to touch on it here. Firstly, (and in no order), the history pillar which holds everything that we have ever seen, heard, and experienced, down to the smallest details, most of which is buried deep within the unconscious mind. This pillar is directly linked to our psychology pillar, where there is a thought stored for every piece of our history. These thoughts then form the philosophy pillar, or our world view, which is made up of our values and deep beliefs. Then of course there is the physiology pillar our physical body and how cells can often be affected by the other pillars and vice versa. To expand on just how powerful our thoughts and beliefs are I want to refer to a workshop I attended last weekend in Auckland ran by Dr Spackman. We saw footage of an experiment which involved a mountain climber who was told he would be given oxygen at a certain altitude level in order to measure how oxygen levels are affected in the working muscles. What happened was astounding. At the point the oxygen mask was given to the climber, an increase in oxygen was recorded in the muscles, this was expected and the subject was able to continue on up the mountain with relative ease because of this. However what the climber didn't know was that no oxygen had actually passed through the mask at all. Theoretically energy and oxygen levels should have dropped and the climber should have struggled to continue on. What this experiment showed was that his unshakeable belief caused a physiological response. i.e. his body responded according to what he believed was going to happen and his thoughts affected and created a physical reaction in his body. For those who are in a position to absorb this and think in a wider context, it should bring up some big questions which are worth exploring. I have explored these pillars in my own health and it was through this holistic process I was able to eventually break the cycle of a decade of depression. I need to emphasise that it took a lot determination and perseverance at what at times felt impossible. My path to mental freedom took a lot of energy, but I have to say not as much energy as it took to stay in the dark!..Depression is exhausting!.. I went to war with my own thoughts and I won. I fought hard to break habitual negative thoughts, I believed that they were just the symptom of a cause, a cause which I didn't need to dissect or maybe even have to know about. I created a new 'script' of thoughts in my head which gave me back my life. Looking back I wouldn't recommend that anyone take on the battle themselves like I did. Whilst there was support back then, it wasn't effective enough for me. These days we have a range of community services available and some of which align themselves to a more holistic person centred approach. Too often we wait for something to change first before we think that we can change, yet in reality we have far more control and potential to enable us to start living the sort of life we want now, and that's even in spite of our history. Carpe Diem. Seize the day.




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