
Carla is a life coach, registered exercise consultant, and has just completed her certificate to practise Hypnotherapy. Www.carlascoachingforhealth.com.
AT SOME POINT WE NEED TO LOOK AT WHAT IT IS THAT MATTERS TO US.... NOT WHAT IS THE MATTER.
![]() My love of personal development started about 25 years ago. I found myself drawn to self help books and anything that had the word psychology in it. One of the first books that changed my life was called 'Hypnothink' which was basically about how to use our own minds and change our thinking to create our reality. This book was the early beginnings of my interest in what we now know as brain plasticity. Scientist I am not, just an interested soul who is passionate about making better choices when I recognise I need to. We now know that new neural pathways and connections can be created by us, we have massive capabilities. It's actually a myth that we only use 10% of our brains, we use 100%. It would be truer to say that we only use perhaps 10% of our potential!..Thanks to technology and imagery, science can now prove this. Science can track a thought and all the emotional and physical responses that go with that thought. It's no longer complicated, nor airy fairy, yet as simplistic as it sounds it can be incredibly challenging to change unwanted old thought patterns which drive our choices in life. Some of those thoughts and beliefs have carved themselves quite a deep pathway in our minds. I've recently heard it said “you just have to make your mind up”, and I agree, but I also acknowledge how difficult that can be. There is no place for self doubt when the need for a change in thinking is recognised. It's a decision that we have to make and it needs to be strong enough to combat what we are naturally drawn back to until we can create better and healthier beliefs which can override our natural tendencies. It could be described as 'going into battle with ourselves'. When I returned to Whanganui some 18 years ago, I felt really compelled to start a crystal shop with therapeutic value. I had no idea how I was going to achieve this as I had no extra money in the bank to buy the necessary stock and the lease of a shop. Now this is where it got interesting and not that I realised it at the time but I do believe that I changed the course of my reality simply from my unshakable belief. I made my mind up!.. Of course this radical idea exposed people who strongly resisted my dream, friends and family included. But in my mind this was going to happen one way or another in spite of what other's needed me to be. It wasn't too long that an opportunity came my way and 'The Seventh Ray Crystal Shop' was born. The money came through the most unlikeliest of sources which I could never have predicted, and I honestly believe that it was my sheer intention combined with my firm faith that made this happen. My chance showed up as just a whisper of a possibility, but being so alert to it I was able to recognise it, grab it, and nuture it. I learnt a lot from this experience. I learnt that when we really believe in something that strongly with huge intention, that there can often be little choice but for that goal to manifest. That can also be a double edged sword, as I've also experienced how my thoughts and focus on what I don't want can also manifest!. Obviously some things are just un predictable but I often wonder about just how much we think about could be self-fulfilling prophecy? Which means a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself. This is due to the feedback loop between belief and behavior which as we know science can now measure. So whilst on one level I havn't got a clue what's going to pop up next in life, and I can't control others, I also believe that I do have some control on what I want in life. My beleifs and actions also get reflected back to me, minute by minute. I accept that I need to take responsbility for paving out my own future the best I can with what I know, what I've got or what I'm prepared to change and learn from. I believe we all have the choice to change our lives, and if we can't just yet? then find yourself a good friend or a professional who can do it for you and mirror and show you how to do it for yourself. Carla is a life coach, registered exercise consultant, and has just completed her certificate to practise Hypnotherapy. Www.carlascoachingforhealth.com.
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Forget the New Year resolutions, every day's a new opportunity. Reflecting on what I've done, where I'm at and what I could or should do better is a constance for me. I won't make any apologies for being this way as I can remember all too well what it felt like to simply be a passive passenger in my own life blindly following whatever came my way and convinced that I had no control over my life whatsoever. Life used to be about 'enduring' and 'surviving' it rather than creating and enjoying it. In the past, my attitude to my own happiness used to be determined by the quality of any type of external source. I relied on what happened to me or who was in my life to determine what sort of life I lead. “I will be happy when....”.......was my mantra. After many years of living like this I was abrubtly triggered one day into asking some bigger questions of myself when a friend I was visiting, or should I say a friend who I was verbally dumping on, said to me “for god sakes Carla it's time to grow up and take charge of your life”...My initial reaction was one of defence!.how dare she speak to me like that!!! But after I calmed down I couldn't help but reflect on what she had said, and I agreed that she was right in identifying that I needed to do something different other than what I was. I was tired of living like this. I no longer had any joy in my life, life seemed complicated and a drag, and frankly I hated it. Through her honesty, she had in fact just given me an opportunity, albeit disguised in a hint of criticism! No more being the passenger! it was time to resume the powerful position of being the 'driver' in my own life. Thank you Jane for the beginning of my wake up all those years ago, if it wasn't for your honesty then I may well still be stuck. I started joining some dots together by beginning to understand that the same thoughts lead to the same choices whch cause the same behaviours which create the same experiences. These experiences produce the same emotions which in turn drive the same thoughts, and round and round it goes. No change to any of my thoughts equals no change to my life. Did I really have a choice in how I think? I had to give it a shot. Little by little and with much practise I started to create altered thoughts which consequently impacted on my reality. A great place to start was a daily goal of finding just one thing that I was grateful for; a smile from a stranger, a roof over my head, a friend, or whatever!... What I was beginning to get a taste of was seeing the direct effects on my life which stemmed from my thoughts. At some point, for most people who are lucky enough to not be inhibited by a damaged brain, we have to admit that we have this power within us that gifts to us the power of choice.We can, with practise and support, the right tools and a desire to change, over ride who we think we are and create the sort of person we identify as wanting to be. We are in fact bigger than our emotions if we work hard enough and we want it enough. For some people this comes naturally and yet for others like me for whatever reason we have to work really hard at it. I no longer have a wish to change the world as I no longer believe that my happiness depends on what others are doing or not doing. Im just going to keep working on accepting what I am unable to change yet, but at the same time keep my mind open enough to keep learning and growing and self determining my own life the best I can with what I've got.
Carla works in mental health and is a life coach and soon to be hypnotherapist. You can contact her on www.carlascoachingforhealth.com |
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